But Really...

 I knew it had to end like this.
 About a month ago I was contemplating your philosophy on cutting out that which is not necessary or beneficial. Then I realized...you were not necessary. I have many friends. I do not need you for survival. Might you have been beneficial? I am not sure.
  Do not get me wrong...I am not delusional about the state of things. I just keep wondering if I misperceived you; if I jumped to conclusions, if I was ridiculous. Maybe the joke is on me. I will be okay. I know you pretend it is easy to cut ties with people, to never get emotional too expressive. You are too "tough" for that. But I am too strong not to be inauthentic. I felt what I felt. I said what I felt. I have no doubt the moment was pivotal. I just cannot decide if it was a valuable trademark or a horrible habit. For you, it was easy. Yeah, I say that based on assumption. No, I am not telepathic. But I know my place. I am expendable.
 I do not say that as if it is my identity that is expendable. I am just saying every person I have ever deeply cared about has walked away of their own volition and/or without a fight. To me that says I am too much to handle, too high maintenance or I am forgettable. All three could be true in certain aspects. That is whatever, man. Everyone talks about how big my love is. Brooke once said "Jade, I know you. When you love, you love with all of you." Let me take this moment to apologize. I am sorry. I did not mean to adore you so much. I did not mean to suffocate you with it. I did not mean to leave nothing to the imagination. For some reason God put a universe in my head. I cannot escape that universe no matter how hard I try. I am a dumb, self-centered kid.
 I lept because I looked down and there was nothing left to do. That, and I live and die for adventures like this. We could not turn back. And it would have taken every ounce of my strength to hold how I felt. Maybe this is a mark of emotional immaturity. I will own it. I feel too much. I am sorry. I will move on eventually.
 Take note. I expected nothing of you. I just wish you would have said more; that you would give me something of you to take with me. No, you do not owe me anything. But I gave you so much of me to reject. And you rejected all of it.
 It is an odd thing, to walk away and still feel as if I am the one who got rejected. But it makes sense. People do not want to share themselves with someone who is saying goodbye. Except me. Call it an act of groveling. But I have a desperate need for people to know I care about them even if they do not love me back...even if they are entirely terrible.
 You were not terrible. You were wonderful. But you were not available. I see this becoming a trend with me. I will figure it out. The saddest part is I sincerely believe you would have never been friends with me if you were untethered. Nor would you have chosen me in any capacity...ever. Because it goes back to my role in the world and the tiers of popularity and beauty and the "rules". You are beautiful. I told you that.
 You are beautiful.
 And I was convenient.
 Until I was no longer convenient.
 Then you were out.

 I get it.
 I don't blame you.

 But...seriously?