New Leaves This Color

 I take so long to process the day.
 I get what I want then it exhausts me. Obsessed with being equipped, I ask for the world. When I receive the world I resent it because it requires something of me and I am too tired from the pining and fear of never having "enough". I live in my mind where I unravel balls of yarn in desperation for the end. Meanwhile, there are the doers of the world. They are out with nothing but pickaxes and sweat on their brow. I am jealous of their reaping but too afraid to pursue work. The droning goes on and I forfeit my potential. I was never taught how to move or to muscle. It was always the most important to mentally and emotionally survive. I have endured my life. It was hard work. I am breathing. But I desire more. I want to work hard and achieve great things.

Get out of bed today, Jade.