New Leaves This Color

H O L D  O N.

There is agony in the crawlspace of my God construct.

The fractured ribs of this tiny house are splintering.

And all my rooms are punctured lungs.
Expanding too shallow.
Collapsing too deep.

I'm gonna hold my breath till I pass out.

I'll destroy my body while I wait you out.
Break all my bones and teeth.

Holy one, shake me awake.

Force your life into these lungs.

I hate you. God. You forsake ME God.
We're all suffering ashes and you abandon us,
God-
To this still cellar with cellophane wrapped mouths.

I writhe to recoil my childlike faith.

But you're too real to be undone.

So hold me close till I pass out.

Smother me in your chest till I pass out.

Rock me to sleep till I pass out.

I hate you, God.
I hate you, God.

I'm sorry.

I  H E A R  H O P E