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Monday, August 18, 2014

My Private Bible College Do's and Don't's List

  • Do pursue absolute truth voraciously and passionately; Love Jesus Christ and esteem Him with your entire heart, mind, and strength.
  • Don't gripe about the cafeteria food. They're trying.
  • Do question everything you're taught.
  • Do find a spiritual mentor.
  • Do burn candles in your dorm room (especially if you're male).
  • Don't fail the first test.
  • Don't feel pressured to pick a major right away.
  • Do go on mission trips...even if you're not a missions major.
  • Do vocalize your questions to someone you trust.
  • Don't get sidetracked/sideswiped/befuddled/tricked by christianese.
  • Do go against the grain.
  • Do make others uncomfortable with your crude humor. 
  • Do know people's limits and be respectful.
  • Don't cause your brother to stumble. 
  • Do cause your brother to polka!
  • Do blow all your money at Target
  • Do study the word inside out and upside down.
  • Do pursue your passions. God breathed them. 
  • Do pay attention in New and Old Testament [even if they seem overwhelming].
  • Do the reading [especially for professors like Dr. Hester], not because it's required-because it's fascinating. 
  • Don't spread what you heard.
  • Do go on late night Sonic runs.
  • Do build relationships with your professors; have coffee with them, at least once a month.
  • Do write down your professor's inspirational nuggets of wisdom.
  • Do consider the source.
  • Do eat off the salad bar.
  • Do tear up your parking tickets with gusto. 
  • Do take a picture of yourself in the midst of rule breaking for your "What I Got Away With in Bible College" Facebook album [that you will post the day AFTER you hold your diploma in your hands].
  • Don't leak that crap before you're actually done with school. 
  • Do go cliff jumping.
  • Do break dress code and record how long you got away with it before student services emailed you.
  • Do worship the way you feel comfortable. Even if that means raising your hands, or dancing, or getting down on your knees. 
  • Don't be afraid to pursue an emotional relationship with God. 
  • Don't be afraid to become a flaming charismatic. 
  • Do date gorgeous boys from Michigan and fall madly in love.
  • Do get your heart shredded into little bitty bits and cry naked on your tile floor.
  • Don't wallow in it for more than two weeks.
  • Do visit your friends' homes over the holidays.
  • Do make friends with nightwatch/security.
  • Do make nightwatch coffee.
  • Do explore your surroundings
  • Don't fall into legalistic mindsets.
  • Don't get burnt out. 
  • Do explore other coffee shops than just Starbucks.
  • Do take care of yourself.
  • Do skip class for mental health days.
  • Don't skip class just because you feel like it. 
  • Do laugh with your friends until 2 a.m. when you should be studying. 
  • Do cry a lot. Every chance you get.
  • Do take walks.
  • Don't get bitter.
  • Do get pedicures.
  • Don't swear around narks.
  • Do take a million pictures.
  • Don't kill your GPA.
  • Do church shop until you find a place that makes you feel comfortable, even if that means considering other denominations. 
  • Do find and record creative ways to skip chapel and still get credit for it. 
  • Do abide by your OWN convictions, not expectations that are not grounded in biblical truth.
  • Do experiment with "illegal" substances at least one time (alcohol, tobacco, or even...) 
  • Don't make it a habit.
  • Do rebuke shame and guilt.
  • Don't partake in a shame and guilt culture.
  • Do pull all nighters cramming in the lounge
  • Don't pull all nighters cramming in the lounge
  • Don't be judgmental cliquey jerks.
  • Do breathe.
  • Do give homosexuals a chance. 
  • Do take risks.
  • Don't get caught.
  • Do take road trips.
  • Do stay out past curfew at least once. 
  • Do call your parents.
  • Don't tell them everything.
  • Do sneak up to the roof and stargaze.
  • Do learn how to sit in a room by yourself.
  • Don't steal crap out of the fridge that isn't yours.
  • Do write hilarious death threats on your food to scare food thieves. 
  • Do have a roomie at least once.
  • Do allow your parents to help you financially if they're offering
  • Do call your grandparents every day.
  • Don't feel pressured to date or get engaged too soon. Life's not a race. 
  • Don't marry someone you don't love. 
  • Do face your demons. 
  • Do have a burn party after your broken engagement.
  • Don't get in petty fights with your best friends. 
  • Don't believe lies spoken over you. 
  • Do fight for what you believe in, even if no one agrees. 
  • Do nap facedown in the garden.
  • Do keep a blog. Write like a revival.
  • Do skip spiritual life group for the sake of salvaging a good Jesus talk or musical jam session with your best friend.
  • Do sign out and sleep on the fire escape at least once.
  • Do have surprise parties for your best friends.
  • Do consider dating outside the fishbowl.
  • Do make peace with who you are. Even if no one has peace about who you are. 
  • Don't let concepts like "God's calling," or "The will of the Lord," trip you up about decision making. Walk empowered. You have the Holy Spirit living inside you. He'll answer any question you have if you listen. 
  • Don't drop out with only one semester to go.
  • Do be the square peg in the round hole.
  • Do pray for your brothers and sisters in Christ. 
  • Do your freaking laundry.
  • Don't be absorbed with your physical appearance. Walk confidently. You're beautiful.
  • Don't forget to pluck your hair from the drain.
  • Do allow the fall to envelope you.
  • Do fall passionately, head over heals in love with your life as it is...right this moment. 
  • Do paint in the garden with the Lord and pray aloud until your knees give out. 
  • Do absorb it all, even when you hate it...I promise, you you love it. And...you'll miss this too.