JOY

 For New Years Eve Fitz invited me over to her gorgeous apartment to share an evening with a group of fierce, brilliant women. Her brother Andrew treated us to supper as we spoke about the wonder and terror of 2015.

 Last year I happened to my life. I stood up and started making powerful choices (some amazing, some terrible). My goal was to shut down the power of external forces. Some of my amazing choices included blooming where I am planted in the workplace, cutting toxic friendships, falling madly in love with my body just as it is and walking away from distractions. Some of my terrible choices included (but were not limited to) falling in love with a married man...or two, spending too much money on Starbucks each week and abandoning my electric toothbrush. But that was yesterday.
 Next week I start ballet, another round of Whole 30 and my new life...without men. No distractions this year, Jade. I mean it.

 I do not know if you know this about me but I am a fucking badass. I am an insane creative that longs to ignite others in their artistic pursuits. I paint. I write. I [will] cook. I [will] dance. I am a coffee connoisseur, a sushi dinosaur and a deep cave spelunker. Recently I have become a professional deep sea diver. I jump from the lips of sinking ships.

 The water is [freezing] fine.

 My goal for 2016:

 Stay alive. 

 Survival is more complicated than one might think.

 The world is sick. Our sin nature is strong. And let's face it...there are always going to be gorgeous men with washboard abs who will tell you what you want to hear if you lower your standards enough to beg. I dunno, man. I just can't settle for the scraps anymore. Even if they really do care (caution: mind blender, don't touch it).
 We set the bar on how we are treated. As I told my best friend who just ended things with her  boyfriend, "Just because it is not bad does not mean it is good and just because it is permissible does not mean it is profitable." That is biblical. Just incase you were wondering.

  So please, stop wallowing. Get the fuck up. Get the fuck out there. Make things.

 After supper last night the girls and I went to see JOY.
 God totally wrecked my life through it.
 I naturally resonate with the heroine
 Because I am a heroine.

 I bet you did not know that either.

 I am a house builder who makes things.

 Women. We are warriors. Don't fuck with us.

 Dear female friends,
 Please Fight. Fight for your place in the world with your brilliant ideas, zest and boldness. Respect and empower other women by calling out the good, praying over the bad and honoring yourself. Honor each other. This is not a competition. And even if it was...no romantic attention is worth it. I promise you. Don't get it twisted.

  Also, just stop.
  Do not give into the lie that you need to apologize for who you are, what you want, what you have said, how far you have gone or how strongly you have fought. The past is the past. Leave it there. You are more than the summation of your weights and sins. You are something no one can take away from you. Fight for your life.
 Stand up...
 Because in the thick of depressing single holidays, phones with empty inboxes, the abandonment of fair-weather friends, your first day in counseling and the cold vacancy of sitting in a room alone with your many terrifying thoughts...there is freedom. And this freedom is the only thing worth living for. It is not your foe. It is your friend. This is your wise counselor that will tell you all the things you love and hate about yourself. Liberate yourself. You are not a victim but a victor. You did not cave to self-medication, drunken texts to ex-boyfriends or selfie comparisons on Instagram.

 You logged off. You put on your boots. You gathered your bow and arrow. You went into the woods in the haunt of the night and you thrived. And you endured. And you are thriving. And you are enduring.

 Pursue God. Pursue yourself. Build your house.

 Get the fuck out there.
 Make holy and brilliant things.