I can honestly say in my 23 years of life I have NEVER been tempted to steal. I pride myself on honesty. Sure, I've lied before--embellished, omitted...I am fallen...but lying is not my greatest struggle.
I have NEVER struggled with thievery--[I am even OCD about returning borrowed things]...until today.
All of it seems so surreal.
What would YOU do if you opened your mailbox to find $200 in cash and gift cards?
Picture it:
You open a gorgeous Christmas card that you believe was intended for you, and are thrilled to discover money because things are tight and your living situation keeps you constantly in fear---Then, to your dismay you realize: This money is NOT addressed to YOU. Would you keep it?
In an adrenaline rush, I shoved it into my wallet quickly so I wouldn't have time to think about it--then I CAUGHT MYSELF. Or rather, Abba caught me.
"Daughter?"
He said.
Immediately I was reminded of Eden: God calling for his hiding creation after they had fallen.
Daughter.I am a daughter of the King.I broke down, humiliated and just started weeping. This had nothing to do with a money problem and EVERYTHING to do with the fact that I DID NOT trust that The Lord would provide for me.
Do you ever have moments where you realize your own depravity? I was caught off guard and mine, like a lion took hold. C.S. Lewis says:
"Surely what a man does when he is taken off his guard is the best evidence for what sort of man he is."
In the privacy of my room, I reopened my wallet. Viewing the cards alone made my stomach hurt.
"Daughter?"
God called again.
One by one, I put the cards back in the envelope and delivered them to their rightful owner.
THAT was a close one!
I shudder to think for a moment I was going to sell my integrity for a wallet full of shiny red cards.Walking away with nothing--I walked away with everything. The lesson seems so basic until it happens to you.I praise a God who does not allow me to be tempted beyond myself, and that He did not condemn me, but still--in my weakness reminded me that I am His. Praise The Lord!
