Over delicious egg-casserole and steaming hot coffee, Emily Neikam and I were finally able to have our first real conversation at the spring Anchor Women's Retreat. Due to working with YWAM, and being an adventurous world-traveler, it has been difficult to touch base with her in our almost year-long friendship. In transition she noted:
"It bothers me when people treat new Christians differently. We all know the same Christ."
Yes. As Audra Harvey noted in her last sermon: Is there not enough division in the church already?
In the fall of 2010, I moved to Nashville in pursuit of a new life. That was the year God breathed truth into my world through radical encounters and dreams. Though I still do not fully understand why the Lord chose to emerge me in such an incredibly conservative Christian culture, I will not graduate in May having learned nothing. I have experienced The Lord: Who He is, and who He is not. The bible college played a larger role in this than it would have had I believed everything I was taught. That is not to say everything I was taught was incorrect, it is simply stating: I have a different opinion.
So much of what we are taught within the church is reflective of the culture constructed around the church. As a clueless 20-year-old I somewhat enjoyed being treated like a "new Christian." In my own ignorance and pride, it was thrilling to be treated as though I had some fragility. I was often "handled," as though I was going to self-destruct or shatter at any moment and backslide into my fallen ways. The irony is: Throughout the journey of my faith, I have had many fallouts--many moments where I was much more "fragile" and willing to abandon Christianity than I was as a new Christian. This mentality is rooted in one thing: The glorification of "winning converts." My stomach aches at this self-glorifying terminology. *Note: If you, or anyone you know have ever "won a convert," it might be time for some quiet, self-examination and deep reflection with God. The reality is: Christianity is a walk. Kevin Hester said it excellently once from the pulpit: "I am just here walking beside you as we figure this out together." The trouble with those who walked me through the "birthing pains" of my "conversion," is that they were no longer there once they felt as though I had been "pruned." This is common in conservative cultural Christianity: The character and value of individuals is measured by "where they are at" in their faith. Can faith be measured by any person but The Lord? In the deep questionings of our faith, in our darkest and most sinful hours are we to be abandoned, expelled, and dismissed...or embraced?
It was not until last fall that I realized: The traditional church is not the only house of God that is guilty of this. I have seen contemporary, non-denominational, and urban ministries buy into this false doctrine. The trouble is: It is so engrained in us that we do not realize we are doing it. Consider it a generational sin that the church needs to fight against. Ranking systems are killing our congregations.
So many times, by the mouths of several people I love, respect, honor--and politely disagree with it has been said:
"If I'm going to battle, I want to get behind the guy that has the biggest scars."
In terms of battle, this is true! I can get behind that concept: I shudder to think of myself in a gang fight--I would absolutely get behind the guy with the most street-smarts. The trouble with this analogy used in the church is its context. I have many times heard it in reference to the "size" of one's testimony: Those who have experienced a "more brutal" or "more gruesome" brokenness [and therefore: a "more radical" testimony] are more qualified in the Kingdom than those who have only experienced salvation. Hold on. Let me embolden that last part for you:
"...than those who have only experienced salvation."
Is there not an issue here? We are all equal.
I come from a broken home.
I have had my fair share of abandonment and psychological "issues."
Are my scars bigger than someone who grew up in a healthy Christian home and has never seen a councilor? No. I might have experienced things that said person will never experience, but this does not make me stronger; this does not make me more qualified to share the gospel. Wisdom comes from one source alone: The living God.
Sure, we occasionally learn a little bit from experience: We learn not to touch hot stoves again But what about when we do? Do we not always go back to our "hot stoves"? By nature we self-destruct. Humans do not gain wisdom from experience [alone]. Humans gain wisdom from inviting The Lord into their experiences. When we compare "battle scars" and attempt to measure wisdom we are like cockroaches trying to determine who is "clean enough" to have first dibs on the sugar jar. We were filthy rags before Him! We are all covered to the same degree and made royalty in His sight. Why are we comparing the "scars" that we will not have on the new earth, in the new heaven?
I come from a broken home.
I have had my fair share of abandonment and psychological "issues."
Are my scars bigger than someone who grew up in a healthy Christian home and has never seen a councilor? No. I might have experienced things that said person will never experience, but this does not make me stronger; this does not make me more qualified to share the gospel. Wisdom comes from one source alone: The living God.
Sure, we occasionally learn a little bit from experience: We learn not to touch hot stoves again But what about when we do? Do we not always go back to our "hot stoves"? By nature we self-destruct. Humans do not gain wisdom from experience [alone]. Humans gain wisdom from inviting The Lord into their experiences. When we compare "battle scars" and attempt to measure wisdom we are like cockroaches trying to determine who is "clean enough" to have first dibs on the sugar jar. We were filthy rags before Him! We are all covered to the same degree and made royalty in His sight. Why are we comparing the "scars" that we will not have on the new earth, in the new heaven?
This flawed thinking also inherently states: Children cannot be wise. We know this is not true. Christ states in Matthew 18:3:
"And he said: "Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven."
Generally, [Most] Children [hopefully] do not have as many "scars" as some adults do. Yet, the church inherently discounts their capacity for knowledge and wisdom. As Mary Rufener discussed in her morning service: Children are capable of encountering the Spirit. Why do we put what they can know about God in a box? Why do we always assume we know so much more?
We love to make everything "experience" based, which inherently makes it work-based. Our formulaic minds want to create a system for everything...including encountering Christ, and due to our pride: We want a pecking-order. This is symptomatic of an entertainment-based culture where suffering for the sake of something is deemed "honorable," and a person should be glorified because of what they have faced. We all want this at some point...to some degree. It is human nature to want to steal the glory that the Lord alone should be receiving.
I am sorry to break it to you if you believed you were wise, or if you believed your scars were bigger than the next guy's so you deserve a pedestal:
We are covered by the blood of Jesus. The work is done. It is finished
with or without YOUR contribution to the Kingdom. The glory is
HIS alone--not ours to hold.
